But. . . I want it

Friends, today I would like to talk about marriage/relationships and the link between love and material items. It just seemed fitting with today being me and my husband’s 2 year wedding anniversary. I want to share a couple examples with you.

Before we got engaged, we went shopping for engagement rings so that he could get a feel for what I wanted. After all, I was going to be the one wearing it for the rest of my life and I should be happy with it. Now 2 years later, its not that I don’t love my engagement ring, because I do, I just think to myself and wonder if this is what he wanted to get me. This ring is a symbol of his love for me, not my love for him. Its not to show every one else that I am married, its for him to show me his commitment to me for the rest of our lives.

When we used to get each other gifts we would give each other lists (literally) of items we wanted so the other one could look around and decide what they wanted to get us off these lists.

When he worked extra late during the week and full days on weekends, I would begin to feel lonely, so I would do a little retail therapy to bring my spirits up, besides who doesn’t need another couch blanket or more picture frames?

This is the last one. Since before we even got married I have wanted a ring for our 10 year anniversary. I have looked for it every jewelry store we go to, and I put it on every “wish list” at every store that offers this type of ring. I have even thought about it on my hand and what it would look like, to even how big the diamonds should be. This is the ring. Its at the Shane Company listed for $1,795.

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I know that I don’t need this ring to be happy. I don’t need my car, my house, my clothes, or anything else to be happy. All I need is Justin.

Starting about 7 or 8 months ago when my cousin Rachel came into town, I have started taking steps back and looking at the big picture. My cousin was pregnant and just moved here with her husband after being states away for a couple years (which seemed like forever). We actually used to live together growing up and were so close. Then we graduated high school, went to different colleges (which was when she moved) and had a really hard time keeping in touch. So when she came back to KY we were like stuck at the hip practically. However I don’t bring up Rachel just to tell you how awesome she is, even though that’s true. I bring her up because I learned so many valuable lessons from her and she doesn’t even know it. Rachel and her husband lived in a 2 bedroom loft apartment and they didn’t have a TV or internet. (I thought to my self how do these people function??) They had two dogs they played with and took on lots of walks, bought everything second hand, lived very modestly and most importantly, they had God. They prayed at every restaurant before eating, and I don’t mean bow your head silently squeeze my hand when you’re done, I am talking about praying out loud while holding hands. it was so refreshing. They were so happy with each other, and with life, and that was with out shopping at TJ Max or Kohl s every other weekend.

They were happy with each other, they didn’t need material items to show they cared about each other. They knew they loved each other by their actions, not their gifts. When she felt lonely, she called him to talk and tell him she missed him and that she wished he could come home. When she needed new clothes for her expanding tummy she went to second hand stores and bought everything she needed during a “dollar sell” which means every thing is a dollar. Not to mention more than half of the items she bought still had the tags on them! She has taught me that I don’t need this ring, even though we have hit a major milestone, and the fact that I want it, it does not change anything. It just another ring, that will go on my right hand, and although I want it really bad, I certainly don’t need it to feel loved. I know that my husband loves me and would do anything in his might to make me happy as I would for him.

Friends, are we living within our means, and even if we are, do we really need all these things? Do we really need that large 10 stone ring to feel loved and happy? Or does our spouse make us feel loved and happy anyway and its society that is telling us we need it. Don’t get to far in worldly possessions that we feel like we just have to have them. Be humble. Look at your husband or your wife tonight. Just look at them and think of all the wonderful things you love about them. You have your spouse at your side all the time, don’t think for a second you need any item more than you need them or their love. They are a gift from God, and should be cherished as one.

With Love,

Tara

Also, we got anniversary pictures done yesterday! Too excited about them not to share them with everyone. My sister did such an amazing job and she is located in Frankfort. You can get to her photography facebook page here!

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2 Responses to But. . . I want it

  1. Carole Weber says:

    Tara, I just want to commend you on starting up a blog and sharing yourself so openly and honestly with the world. Every time I read one of your posts I am so touched by the true love and compassion that pours off the page and amazed at how insightful you are about life at such a young age. You have always been very kind and loving growing up but you have truly evolved into someone with wisdom beyond their years and it is so apparent that you really do recognize what matters in life…something most of us lose track of way too often. I’m so very proud of you and can’t wait for you to get to share your wisdom with your children, who I’m sure will be equally amazing! I love you! Aunt Carole

    Like

    • Thank you so much Aunt Carole! It means so much to me to hear that! I have been asking for every one’s thoughts on all my posts when I share them but I haven’t heard anything from anyone yet, so I wasn’t sure if I was ever offending anyone or if I was uplifting others with “my view” on different topics. I appreciate you reading my blog; I put it out there and make it all public because I want everyone to be able read it! It just feels so right and I feel so good writing and telling others about how I feel and look at everything. Thank you so much for all your wonderful compliments, they truly mean so much to me! You just made my entire day. Love you too!! Tara

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